Guilt

Preparing for war... airsoft war

I am not typically a mom that spends a lot of time feeling guilty. At least, I don't think that I do. But, I have been feeling pretty guilty since our results meeting last week.

Guilty that it took two years for me to get this testing done.

Guilty that I didn't realize how BIG of a problem we were dealing with.

Guilty that I didn't push harder when I was made to feel like just a worry-wart mom.

Guilty that I accepted the answers of "I wish these kids came with an instruction manual" and "There is something there, but I just can't put my finger on it."

Guilty that I never followed through on tutoring last summer.

Guilty that my child apparently has an incorrect pencil grasp.

Guilty that I never looked more into his headaches.

I know, in my logical mind, that none of this is my fault. I know that I did what I could do. I know that nobody thinks I am a bad mom. But, I kind of feel like one. I feel like I have failed him over the last two years.

I pray this can all be turned around. With the help we are going to now be getting. I just know that he has some negative attitudes towards school and homework and that those are, in some ways, going to be harder to "fix" than the actual issues!

I think guilt is just going to be part of this. It has to be. He is my baby and there are problems. Of course, I am going to feel guilty. I'll just need to learn to get through it!